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Cautious Optimism

by Arsenic!

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1.
I'm emotional. Well, I think so. And I can't trust the thinking part of me to corroborate an aching heart. How am i supposed to know which ones I'll like and who will leave me crying on my walk from school waiting for hugs from my mom? I just want to go to my old house. I know it so well. I just want to go to my bedroom, I know it so well. And I think I have to go. If I never ever leave, if I left a way to go. How will I go to bed and figure out who will leave a note and lock the door and if I never have to breath? How will I understand which one's I'll like and who will leave me crying on my walk from school waiting for hugs from my mom. I just want to go to my old house. I know it so well. I just want to go to my bedroom, I know it so well.
2.
I always feel like I want to disapear. It makes me sad to live without someone that I can't live without. And I don't think that happiness is here. I meant to say that I'm in the way, but I won't bother anyone. There's still a place that I'll always know. My friends are there and I often go. Where I'm not scared and I don't hide. Because a book's as good as a suicide. I need someone to tell me who to be. A drug adiction at its height - what story should I read tonight? The pain is always catching up to me, And loneliness has settled in But what I read just save my life. Arsenic and formaldehyde. We hide the things that we want to hide. A book's as good as a suicide. A book's as good as a suicide. We met at school and talked the night away. Someone to touch me and to wipe away the tears we cried tonight. If only I could say it was my own And not some fictional fantasy, I wouldn't have to risk my life anymore.
3.
Sitting on the school yard steps. This high school love affair, it makes no sense. She says that I'm the one for her. But why she feels that way I can't infer. The sun that's shining through our window is resting on our bed. Even though I should be happy, how can I forget. I put the "OC' in OCD. I put 'MD' in MDD. They say that we're the perfect pair. She thinks of all the good times we will share. She thinks it cute when we hols hands. There's just one thing I'll never understand. The flowers that Amy gave me are smiling back at me. Could she really be in love, but no, how could that be? I put the 'GA' in GAD. I put 'BP' in BP1. The sun that's shining through our window is resting on our bed. Even though I should be happy, how can I forget. I put the "OC' in OCD. I put 'BP' in BP1.
4.
5.
6.
I wanted to leave and go home. I still don't look the part at all. She had more drinks than me that night, But downers helped me with the fall. It was perfect and you held my hand. Three words I said you didn't understand. What a happy sight, But only for a night 'cause now you're gone. I'm not use to being thought of. I'm just forgotten in a day. I knew that I should never have said What I was trying to say. It was perfect and you held my hand. Three words I said you didn't understand. What a happy sight, But only for a night 'cause now you're gone.
7.
If things don't change. Then she will make Herself a fool. She can't go back to school To see them laugh. Perfect romances, and She'll have to drink To make sure her heart sinks. But she has hope That drinking won't hurt her Like her best friend, Who fell apart, again. But if it does, At least she saw it coming. She won't regret The life she never spent.
8.
Secret Crush 02:41
I don't need someone to say "I'll love you in just every way." 'Cause I can't meet expectations. I would settle for a crush, it's been so long Since someone said "I like you in that sort of way." It would be cute if you liked me, too. I've had this crush for a long time. And we wouldn't have to be boy and girl friend. I could be your secret crush and you'd be mine. But you said no, and now I've lost my mind. I think I made a big mistake 'Cause now whenever my heart aches It's because I know that you said no. It hurts much more now than before you told be how much I'm a bore When I try to make conversation. But it'd still be cute if you liked me, too. I've had this crush for a long time. And we wouldn't have to be boy and girl friend. I could be your secret crush and you'd be mine. How many times have you told me not to leave? I just want to to tell you now that I owe my life to you. It would be cute if you liked me, too. I've had this crush for a long time. And we wouldn't have to be boy and girl friend. I could be your secret crush and you'd be mine.
9.
Salty Dog 02:41
The lights went out again. It's dark and I don't mean to make a fuss. I'm going down to Oakdale. Until I hitch a ride on Ellen's bus. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. The sky is grey and the waters is blue. Staring brightly at the sun. The sea is no place for a dog. Well here we go, we just lost another one. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. The lights went out again. It's dark and I don't mean to make a fuss. I'm going down to Oakdale. Until I hitch a ride on Ellen's bus. Oh buddy come back, oh please come back. He'll come back and then you'll learn. I'm pretty sure because Wishbone always does return. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. I think I'm ready to lose my mind. I think I'm ready to lose my mind.
10.
You may have been set up, But I'll never forget the promise we made Before farewell we bade. If we were untethered, We'd get together at forty and then We'd find our love again. And now I'm coming to you having broken all your toys. Please let me hear you say, "Of course I will, I've been waiting so long. Of course it was you, it was you all along. And when I said it wouldn't work, well, I was wrong." The first one was Dale, Sent to jail with a warrant I penned. I was worried it'd never end. Then there was Michael. Somehow his cycle was thrown off course In last years tour de force. And now I'm coming to you having broken all your toys. Please let me hear you say, "Of course I will, I've been waiting so long. Of course it was you, it was you all along. And when I said it wouldn't work, well, I was wrong."
11.
She wears a pink winter jacket And long plaid skirts. And her satin, silver slippers When her feet hurt. And her hair hangs down Just one side of her face. And her glasses are round like two pink birthday cakes. I wear a black overcoat That i bought in Amsterdam With a flower in my lapel. My glasses are fake, But i wear them just for you Because I'm afraid of my real face, And, Kathryn, so are you.

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released January 20, 2015

Tony Fischetti
John Mazzoni

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Arsenic! New York, New York

Arsenic! The overall product can be likened to a caring hug.

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